Don’t be a Buzz Kill
Lead with Solutions, Not Resistance — Whether at work or home, consistency, encouragement, and constructive input drive real results.
By Emily Smallwood
Aerospace Co-Founder, CEO, and Mom of Three
In every workplace whether it’s a corporate boardroom, a government review, or a startup pitch, there’s one type of person everyone quietly dreads: the Buzz-Kill.
You know the one.
They walk into a meeting, offer no context, no encouragement, no support…just a sudden, sharp “this won’t work” or “this is wrong”. Boom. Instant energy shift. The team’s momentum stalls, morale dips, and all the work leading up to that moment feels dismissed.
Buzz-Kills are loud in presence, but silent in solutions.
What is a Buzz-Kill?
A Buzz-Kill is someone who:
• Enters a meeting without context or collaboration
• Discredits others’ work without constructive input
• Drops negativity without offering an alternative
• Walks away, leaving others to clean up the emotional and professional fallout
And unfortunately, the title sticks. Once you're labeled the Buzz-Kill, it's hard to shake it.
My First Buzz-Kill 💣
It was during my second rotation on a space program. Every team meeting, this one person would show up with the same energy: aggressive, dismissive, and ready to shoot everything down.
“This is terrible.”
“That’s a bad idea.”
“No. Just no.”
Not once did they offer a solution. Not once did they say, “This part looks good, but have you considered…”
It was always destruction. Never direction.
Even as a junior engineer, I could see it: the eye-rolls, the body language shift, the tension spike the moment they entered the room. Everyone braced themselves. Not for technical critique, but for another morale hit.
Thankfully, that program had one of the best program managers I’ve ever worked with—someone who kept the team focused, positive, and forward-moving in spite of it. But it stuck with me. That was the first time I saw how much damage one person’s negativity could do to an otherwise high-performing team.
What Not to Do (and What to Do Instead)
1. Don’t destroy the team’s work.
Even if the design isn’t perfect—or the solution needs work—lead with curiosity and support. Instead of saying “This will never work,” ask “Have you considered [X]?” or “Here’s a thought to strengthen this.”
Be the kind of teammate who builds, not bulldozes.
2. Same for Work-Life Balance: Don’t drop last-minute chaos at home.
Buzz-Kills aren’t just in the boardroom. They show up in everyday life too.
As a mom of three, coordinating logistics is a full-time job in itself. But it doesn’t have to be hard. A five-minute Sunday sync with your spouse or co-parent can save a week’s worth of stress. Align calendars. Confirm swim meets, work trips, dentist appointments, school projects. Keep the bombs defused.
Leading Without Bombs
As a Mom of 3 and leading a startup, I’ve learned that the best leaders:
• Question with curiosity—not contempt
• Offer options—not ultimatums
• Sync early, sync often—because surprises belong in birthday parties, not team reviews or the daily juggle act.
Do that consistently, and your teams (and kids) will bring you their boldest ideas instead of hiding them under protective rubble.
Work With Me 🔧✨
Ready to replace bombs with building blocks—at work and at home?
• Book a 1:1 Power Session: Leadership clarity, startup scaling, or work-life systems
• Follow @TheArcSpaceMom on Instagram for real-time tools, routines, and zero fluff
Let’s lead with vision
The best teams—and the best families—don’t need Buzz-Kills. They need leaders.